Take a look at a car magazine or a car brochure from the 1970s or 1980s and you’d be shocked to see how limited most manufacturers lineups were compared with today’s landscape.

SUVs were still agricultural and had yet to really catch on in a big way with mainstream car buyers, and crossovers hadn’t really been invented, except by AMC (so nobody really noticed). And premium car makers were still all about the premium, meaning they weren’t lowering themselves by making front wheel drive subcompacts. Oh yeah, apart from Audi, which briefly tried to convince the world the 50 was more than a posh Polo (it wasn’t).

BMW’s early-mid 1980s lineup, for example, consisted of just four cars: the 3-Series, 5-Series and 7-Series sedans, and the 6-Series coupe. And that was it. Now let’s drill down and take a look at the E30 3-Series from that period. For the first four years of its life, since its 1982 launch, the only difficult choices were whether to go for two or four doors, and four or six cylinders. There was no wagon, no M3, and although you could get an ugly Bauer conversion with a retractable roof, there was no proper convertible option. Even all-wheel drive didn’t appear until 1985, and when it did arrive it was limited to the 325iX.

Related: BMW Was Deadly Serious About Making This Freaky X5-Z4 Coupe Crossover Mashup

If Carscoops had been a thing back then we’d have all been AMAZING at paper toss because there would have been so little new car content to write about. Fortunately, things are different these days. The car market is a much more vibrant, diverse place (although crossovers are doing their best to undo this) and carmakers are constantly finding new ways to repackage their existing parts to create new cars we had no idea we needed. But sometimes, it can get a little crazy trying to keep up with the latest niche within a niche. So here’s your handy guide to BMW’s compact lineup.

BMW 3-Series Sedan

The 3er has been around since the mid 1970s, and it’s still the foundation for all of BMW’s compact car activity. Think of it as the base cooking sauce chefs build all their dishes from in an Indian restaurant, the final color, taste and texture coming down to the combination of herbs, spices and veggies tossed into the pan.

Of all BMW’s compacts, this one offers the widest range of powertrain options, stretching from an anemic 148 hp 318d right up to the tire-frying 503 hp M3 Competition. It’s beautifully built, fun to drive, and even the entry-level cars have a sporty vibe you expect from a BMW. It’s a great all-rounder, and you can even get it as a 330e PHEV. But I know what you’re thinking: if only BMW built a 3-Series with room for the dog…

BMW 3-Series Touring

BMW introduced the 3-Series Touring in 1987 after one of its engineers had proved the idea could work by building his own. The wagon body style isn’t currently available in the US, but it’s a popular choice in Europe, where it will soon be available with M3 power for the first time. But I know what you’re thinking: not everyone wants to look like a sales rep on his way to a paperclip conference. If only there was a compact BMW that did everything the 3-Series does, but was a little bit sexier…

BMW 4-Series

If it’s sexy you want, you’ll be wanting the 4-series, provided you can love a face that looks like the result of someone sitting pants-down on the office photocopier at the Christmas party. The artist formerly known as the 3-Series Coupe (and Convertible) delivers everything that’s great about the 3-Series sedan, but ramps up the sizzle quotient by ditching the back doors and letting you pretend to yourself and everyone else that it isn’t just a sedan in sneakers.

But I know what you’re thinking: the lack of rear doors is a bit of a deal breaker for some buyers. If only you could get a 4-Series that was a bit more like a 3-Series…

BMW 4-Series Gran Coupe

A 4-Series that’s a bit more like a 3-Series sounds like a 3-Series to us, but BMW spotted a an opportunity to create something more glamorous, and came up with the 4-series Gran Coupe. You get a low roofline and frameless doors for a coupe feel, but matched with four-door practicality. Actually, make that five-door practicality, because the Gran Coupe has an opening tailgate, making it arguably more useful than the 3-Series sedan. It’s such a compelling proposition, it makes you wonder why the 4-Series Gran Coupe isn’t the 3-Series.

But I know what you’re thinking: the Gran Coupe is just too damned handsome (we’ll admit it, that grille is growing on us). If only there was a 3-Series that was as practical as the wagon, had frameless door glass like the Gran Coupe, but was a whole lot uglier and 100 per cent less cool…

BMW 3-Series Gran Turismo

Between 2013 and 2019 the 3-Series Gran Turismo fulfilled the practical/ugly/uncool brief perfectly. Based on the long-wheelbase Chinese-market 3-Series platform, it gained a load of legroom and a fair bit of headroom at the expense of some driving fun. But BMW opted not to replace the GT when it introduced the new-generation 3-Series family in 2019.

And anyway, I know what you’re thinking: space isn’t the final frontier these days, it’s zero emissions. If only there was a BMW that was as practical as the 3-Series, had the sexy frameless glass from the 4-Series Gran Coupe, was a bit porkier in the curb weight department like the 3-Series Gran Turismo, but was all-electric…

BMW i4

And here it is, BMW’s brand new i4: a state of the art EV whose giant grille and frameless glass means it looks pretty similar to a five-door version of a two-door version of a four-door sedan. Hope that clears things up.