Did you know that the average male reproductive organ is 10 inches (25 cm) long? No? That’s okay, because I was actually psychologically manipulating you into wanting a sports car.
That is, in effect, what researchers at the University College London, say is possible. They sought to find if there was any truth to that old adage that sports car owners tend to be compensating for dreaded downstairs deficiencies.
The team, though, had to be clever, because uh… measuring this effect was difficult. As the researchers put it, “self-reported penis size is notoriously unreliable,” and, more to the point, “even an objective study of penis size and sports car ownership would also be limited in correlational evidence.”
Read: These Are The Most And Least Satisfying Cars, According To Owners
That’s because, as anyone who has ever driven sports cars knows, objective measurements are often less important than subjective experience – a Chevy Corvette is very fast until it lines up next to a Bugatti Chiron. And yet, neither makes a Toyota GR86 any less fun.
But enough metaphors, the researchers decided to try and manipulate their subjects’ self-perception by giving them fake facts about penis size. The information either exaggerated or underrated the average length in order to make men feel better or worse about what was going on under the hood, as it were.
So as not to put their fingers on the scale, the fake facts were presented within a larger collection of random information, and subjects were told that the experiment was looking at how people multitask online, such as when they’re shopping and browsing simultaneously.
When presented with the “fact” that the average penis was 18 cm (seven inches) long – which is way longer than the actual average – the participants rated sports cars as more desirable. Intriguingly, the effects of this particular kind of manipulation were stronger the older the subject was, with those under the age of 29 not showing as much interest in fast cars.
Of particular interest, though, is the finding that the penis facts seemed to have no impact on men’s interest in other luxury products. The correlation, therefore, appears to be specifically related to sports cars. People aren’t just shopping to make themselves feel better.
While there are still a lot of unanswered questions in this research – like whether or not general feelings of inadequacy, in addition to genital jealousy, affect a man’s desire for a sports car – it suggests that people trying to show off in music videos should sing about hatchbacks, not C8 Corvettes.
