The April Fools’ jokes are starting early this year (since April 1 is on a Saturday), and Subaru is early out of the gates with a gag that pokes fun at its reputation for appealing to hippies. The company today revealed Subaru Forager Granola, a fake product that I think could actually sell.
So worried was Subaru not to appear to be marketing a real product (I wonder if VW’s less-than-successful bit from 2021 has anything to do with that), the company says that the Granola comes with wholesome grains, nuts, dried fruit, and the promise of the open road
As with any granola, supposed buyers can also put their own twist on the breakfast snack, with “fresh steam from Old Faithful, crunchy macrobiotic twigs, and even (maybe?) those berries you found in the woods.”
Read: Subaru Bringing New Wilderness Variant To New York, Might Be A Rugged Crosstrek
The company has even made up a new position for this gag, which it calls the “head of texture and granularity.” The role has been handed to one Moe Muesli for the day, who had this to say:
“At Subaru, we’re committed to being More Than a Car Company, and now, we are literally More Than a Car Company, because we’re making granola. We know Subaru drivers have a reputation for being ‘crunchy,’ and now we have a snack that is as crunchy—or perhaps crunchier—than they are.”
That all warrants a sensible chuckle, but I’m a little annoyed that it won’t become a real product. Subaru says it will not sell Forager Granola in any stores, nor, even, at its dealerships.
While I concede that actually producing a real foodstuff is probably complicated (especially one that has infinite crunch factor, unlimited puppy kisses, and whose yoga pose is sun salutation), I can’t help but feel like it’s possible.
I have no problem with brands trying to get to participate and have a bit of fun, but I wish that they would commit to the bit. If Subaru had actually partnered with, say, Trader Joe’s, and put its name on a bag of granola, it would not only be more fun, but I bet it would also sell. Then again, there is such a thing as committing to the bit too much.
