James May was long a proponent of what he called “Christian motoring,” in which being kind, allowing others to merge in front of you, and generally being nice actually makes driving more pleasant. As it turns out, if you practice “Christian motoring” in Rome, you might still get fed to the lions.
In the most recent clip promoting his new series, James May: Our Man In Italy, he gets a driving lesson from a Roman actress named Guia Scognamiglio. Although she insists on driving him to Rome, she does hand him the wheel of their Fiat Panda once there.
When he finally takes the wheel, it’s rather surprising. May is completely transformed from Captain Slow into Captain Aggro and almost immediately takes off flying, causing Scognamiglio to wince with panic. She squirms in her seat just like a parent teaching their child to drive, and it may ultimately be as a result of May’s expectations of the city.
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“Our view at home – in Britain – is that driving in Rome is mad. It’s very furious, there are thousands of old Cinquecenti dodging around,” he says early in the video, perhaps explaining why he gets so aggressive behind the wheel.
What begins as a driving lesson for May, though, quickly becomes a lesson in reading Roman body language. Not just of Scognamiglio’s distress, but of Rome’s richly varied and expressive hand signals.
From a simply upheld hand expressing disappointment, to the twisting upright hand (as if screwing in a light bulb) of skepticism, to waving one hand to express the smelliness of another’s driving and their attitude towards personal safety.
It turns out that, even if all roads lead there, getting around Rome isn’t for the faint of heart.